Saturday 26 October 2019

Blown Away

A very forceful storm passed through our valley and many trees were blown over. Unfortunately one fell over our power line and broke it. Again my plans for the day were blown away. I had planned to use my sick day to continue on my quilt, but with no electricity, this couldn't happen. I dug up our camping stove, so I could warm up water and soup, for tea and lunch. I read a chapter from the book we are reading with our community and had a nap.
Halfway through the afternoon our neighbour's horses broke loose, because a tree had fallen over their fence and broken the wire. So my neighbour and I got together and tethered the horses where they were safe for now. The owner would come the next day to inspect and repair the fence.
When it got dark we lighted a bunch of candles and just enjoyed the glow. 
All this got me thinking how fortunate we are that we can move switches and turn on taps and we have electricity and water at our disposal. 
It also brought people together: around the fireplace for warmth and company and on the field to rescue horses. Often we forget about how good it is to live in community and to enjoy each other and realize that our to-do lists will be ok for another day. 
When the power came back on, I was hesitant to turn on the lights, because just sitting by the candle light was kind of nice and I didn't want to disturb this moment that felt somewhat sacred.
I'm thankful that no people or animals or property got hurt by the falling trees and that quilt ?It will get done another day. 

Sunday 29 September 2019

Beauty & Suffering

In Dutch we have a saying: beauty takes suffering. I remember the uncomfortable nights as a young girl, when I slept with cotton strips knotted in my hair, so I could have ringlets the next day. They typically lasted half a day, before my hair was all straight again.
Then I started thinking that maybe there is more to this old saying than we think at first glance. My experience has told me the reverse of this saying: suffering makes beauty.
In our Western world we have this idealized vision of beauty with no wrinkles or blemishes on your face (at least for women). I've seen pictures of people in less affluent countries that have gone through suffering and being exposed to the elements and I see immense and intense beauty in these wrinkled and gnarled faces. These are faces that tell stories of lives lived under pressure, but each grin and wrinkle tells also a story of resilience and joy.
I encountered the same beauty in the faces of cancer patients when I went in for chemo myself. Sure the hair is gone, but contrary to what we might think, it brings out and intensifies the inward beauty of a person. And I've had many compliments about my face and that I have this glow...
As a quilter I get it; the last quilt I made involved a lot of cutting up and sewing together again. The technique is called "Bargello", named after the embroidered, wavy patterns on pillows in one of the musea in Florence, Italy. You start with cutting strips from the width of fabric of different colours. You sew the different coloured strips together in a certain pattern, and then you cut them again into strips, which are sewn together with another pattern. The end result is a wavy pattern. The more you cut and sew it, the prettier it gets.
Of course this theme of beauty from ashes and suffering we find all throughout the Bible and it is the leading story of our Christian faith.
So next time you look in the mirror and you spot a wrinkle or grey hair, smile and say: you are beautiful and your face shows a life well lived! And compliment people on their inward beauty shining through.

Sunday 8 September 2019

Refractions


A straw in a glass of water seems to be broken at the surface line. Have you ever wondered why and how this happens. I mentioned earlier that I wasn't a scientist, but as an analyst and creative I look at this phenomenon and I question: I know the start of the line and how it continues, but what happens at this breaking point? Isn't this similar to a threshold or liminal space, where we can see what came before and we can see what comes next, but we don't know quite how to get there?
I could get obsessed with this particular point and get bogged down in what I know or start a new story of what happens at this particular point. Just imagine... As a creative and person of faith I tend to focus on the positive possibilities and my mind starts to twirl with ideas. This refraction point is where I stand on the beach and look toward the sea and start dreaming of travelling to exotic places, or like one of my favourite Irish saints, Brendan, would step into a little rudderless boat and let the wind of God determine where I would end up. The refraction point becomes a point where faith and trust is required, because we honestly don't know what's next. 
For me this point of refraction was when I said yes to more chemo. I knew a little bit what to expect, but didn't know how it would affect me until I went through it. 
Every time I start a new quilt or other creative project, there's this point of refraction: I know what I have to work with and somewhat of an idea what it will look like. But really no idea of what the end result will be. 
Every time we go through a season of loss or change we come to this point of choice: do I sit back in fear or do I step out in faith and trust that the end will be OK?



Sunday 1 September 2019

Heritage

I was remembering my dad this week. It's been 6 years since his death and more and more I appreciate what he passed on to me. He was a scientist at heart and always studying something. I am not a scientist at all but I did inherit his analytical mind. That is why I am forever seeing patterns and wanting to translate them into quilt patterns, which resulted in all my different labyrinth patterns.
Chartres labyrinth

Chartres Quilt
An analytical mind can be a beautiful thing, when we put it into service to others. When we stay open to its Source and keep the wonder and imagination, in stead of becoming closed and judgmental, I think this gift is the birthplace of many creative inventions. 
The spiritual counterpart is contemplation. Our Creator loves the honest seekers and questioners; this is the whole idea behind our spiritual journey, or pilgrimage. This is why I love the idea of life as a labyrinth journey, that twists and turns toward the center and then continues to twist and turn on its way. In my experience life, when lived to the full, is never a straight path. 
St. Hildegard of Bingen wrote: "Enjoy every moment of life by constantly reminding yourself of the imminence of death". Seeing my dad die of cancer and having gone through cancer myself, really brings this thought home. Strangely enough this thought brings freedom and joy, rather than sadness. Life becomes more precious to live, because it will end one day and we don't know when. 
So in memory of my dad, I say "thank you" for giving me an analytical mind and "le chaim", a toast to life.

Sunday 25 August 2019

Have you ever had one of those days that you just have to create something?
I just finished my last chemo treatment and typically I would conk out on the couch the day after, but not today! I just had to make things, so first I baked a bread and then I started this little quilt. 



Where did this urge to create come from? Or even the energy to do it? My way of thanking the Creator for being able to finish this hellish journey of cancer? 
Whatever and why ever I just needed to do it. Just like our Creator one day said: "let's create us something spectacular!" and here we are, living in this amazing world. So today I will rest with a heart filled with gratitude and bask in the beauty of fabric and fresh baked baked. Life is good!

Saturday 10 August 2019

Recently I visited a wool mill and was struck by the creative inventions of their machinery. They buy different qualities of wool from Western farmers and they process it in their little factory. We watched sheepskin transforming into yarn and fleece blankets. They also had a little shop where they sold yarns and knitted products. Here is where I picked up a kit to make my own dryer balls. I had to do some googling first but discovered that they are quite easy to make. 
This is the process of needle felting: you poke a sharp needle continually into a ball of wool, until you reach the right firmness. As usual, while poking the wool with a sharp needle, my mind turned to a different plane and I started to wonder about poking out all my bad feelings and frustration. It was actually quite therapeutic and as I kept poking, my mind turned from frustration to prayer for those who are hurting and I thought "hmm, there is something going on here".

- Are there things in your life that you need to "poke", maybe frustrations in your own life or frustration with our world?

The second step in the felting process is adding colour and shapes to the ball and from furious poking you turn to precision and slow poking. 

- What things in my life need attention and maybe some precision poking?

The last step is putting the ball in the dryer, with a load of laundry.

- Looking at your life with "clean" eyes what new things are emerging? How can you turn the frustration into something useful and beautiful?